MEAT YOUR MAKER

THE METEOR WHICH CRASHED TO THE EARTH in an unpronounceable town somewhere in the shadows of the Urals is obviously yet another sign from above that Heaven is not very happy about the shenanigans going on down here at the moment involving the Holy Roman Catholic and Apostolic Church from the top to the bottom -- all equally at fault in their non-fulfillment of their Lent and Easter duties.

NO SENSIBLE PERSON will believe that this extremely unusual event is not a sign of displeasure from on high. According to NASA, the European Space Agency, CNN, SKY NEWS and all of the observatories spattered about the globe and manned by bearded loonies who see nothing in their lives other than "stars, man, it's just like flickering lights, man, but there's life there, man", no one saw this coming. How does a two-ton object hit the ground without anyone noticing beforehand?

SIMULTANEOUS TO THIS CURIOUS EVENT, we have the "meat scandal", as the BBC News team terms it. It has now been discovered that a considerable part of our diet over recent years -- not everyone, of course, only those who ate in pubs or hamburger restaurants, or bought hamburgers, meatballs, sausages, frozen foods, pies or pasties in supermarkets, football grounds or dodgy cafés -- may have been affected by eating Arkle, Red Rum, Black Beauty or Noddy the Blackpool Donkey and even may have otherwise been scoffing on the equine unbeknown.

TIME HAS A LOGIC OF ITS OWN. We are now in Lent, when we should not, in all conscience, eat meat except on Sundays until Holy Thursday after early evening mass. My good lady wife and I have decided to give processed meat a wide berth for the next 36 days, and I imagine that in terms of health it will do us no harm. Whether this brings us closer to our Creator or not remains to be seen. So we will see.

(My photo shows the famous portrait of Pope Benedict XVI by Francis Bacon)

NON HABEMUS PAPAM

ON THE 14th OF SEPTEMBER 2010 I wrote a few words on this blog about Joseph Alois Ratzinger, our current pope, at least until 8 o'clock on the 28th of February. At the time my opinion was that this gentleman was a bit of a shifty character when seen in the wrong light.

 

YET NOTHING COULD HAVE PREPARED ME for the shock of hearing that a pope could resign his position. There are increasingly few certainties in the modern world, and the fact that a pope was elected "for life" was among these. The soon-to-be Mr Ratzinger has removed one more of these certainties, and has added fuel to the fire of the lunatics who believe that the world will end after one more pope after one who resigns, a prophecy put about by St Malachy in 1139.

 

ACCORDING TO MALACHY, the next pope will be the "final Peter" and we will presumably have to get on with preparing for an economic, spiritual and emotional Armageddon over the coming years, in the meantime readying ourselves for the life to come.

 

ONE MAY FIND SOME PARALLELS in the absurd action being taken by the present soon-to-be-ex-pope-Benedict XVI and the odd, not to say queer, times of the last resignation of a pope in 1415. At that time the Roman Church was divided over several issues of dogma and attitude, a chaos of moral and spiritual values that had seen no equal for centuries. So much so that there were three "popes" who claimed legitimacy, Benedict, John and Gregory. Gregory XII was the one who stepped down in order to allow some leeway for Antipope Benedict or Antipope John to step up to the plate. In the end the whole thing went awry when a third pope was chosen.

 

HISTORY, WE SOMETIMES HEAR, REPEATS ITSELF. We daily hear of paedophile priests. The Roman Church seems to be completely out of touch for a growing number of people. Economically, Europe has not seen such difficult times since before World War II. Yet the richest institution on the planet after the Church of the Latter Day Saints is offering nothing but "prayer" and "solidarity" to those who are watching their lives get flushed down the toilet, in a country where the biggest robber baron of the last century laughs in the face of authority and decency.

 

MR RATZINGER WILL STEP DOWN from office soon; how would he have felt if Jesus his saviour had said, from the Cross of his Crucifixion, "That's enough suffering and saviouring for now. I'd like to resign."?

 

IT IS NOT A MATTER OF BELIEF, but one of coherence and consistency. One can only hope that we are not about to witness another Great Western Schism. Even so, how will it sit with those who swore allegiance to this shifty, irresponsible German when he is still alive and we have a "new pope". Perhaps Italian TV can organise a debate show with the two of them, moderated by today's third pope, Silvio Berlusconi.