GOODBYE MY LOVE GOODBYE

IT WOULD BE FAIR TO STATE that at the moment the eyes of the world are firmly on Greece now that the country has the scruffy heathen Alexis Tsipras as its Prime Minister. Although it appeared, as recently as a few days ago, that there were those who doubted his ability to run a country, there can no longer be doubt in anyone’s mind that Mr Tsipras is a man of his word.

 

THE PROMISES HE HAS SO FAR managed to keep may only be that he swore he would never wear a tie, sounding like some petulant teenage boy who is being forced by his parents to attend the wedding of a distant relative, and that he would never swear on the Bible, but at least he is sticking to his guns, as they sometimes say.

 

YET IT MAY PROVE SLIGHTLY MORE DIFFICULT for him to live up to his promise to treat the hated Angela Merkel “the same as anyone else” and to speak to her only if and when he “feels like it”, given that Mrs Merkel is the real person calling the shots (just to continue the metaphor) under the skies of Hera nowadays.

 

BY A STRANGE COINCIDENCE the election of Mr Tsipras as the saviour of the most debt-ridden corrupt country in the inept European Union took place only mere hours before Artemios Ventouris "Demis" Roussos passed away. Although Mr Roussos was not Greek strictu sensu, if I am allowed to mix my classics, he, along with Nana Mouskouri, the bespectacled Greek singing sensation, gave the more serious countries in Europe a view of what Greece had to offer.

 

THEY WERE ALWAYS EXTREMELY POLITE on television and to journalists, and deferent to their betters who were giving them a chance to make a bit of money in hard cash such as the Bank of England issues on a regular basis. Not so, however, with the modern Greeks, who may end up, once again, slipping into the realm of the "soft currency unit" so enjoyed by countries which cannot feed their own children. Let alone buy them such dignified apparel as a tie. But now for those of us who live in the real world it may be goodbye, not to Berlin, but to Greece.

RANDY ANDY

BEING SECOND IN LINE FOR A THRONE, as indeed being runner-up for anything in particular, must be rather disappointing, as it invariably leads to behaviour that is abjectly beyond the pale even according to the lax standards of human decency displayed by the current dynasty forming the royal family of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

 

THE BEHAVIOUR OF PRINCE HARRY in our former colony of the United States of America, to take a readily available example, when playing pool naked in Las Vegas in the company of ladies to whom he had not been formally introduced at Court, has become so commonly expected that it was no doubt at the base of the 2014 Fox network television entertainment show called "I Wanna Marry Harry".

 

GIVEN THAT I BELIEVE FEW of those who occasionally read what I write will know of this "reality show", as the children call these productions nowadays, I feel it necessary to point out that it involves bringing twelve young ladies described by the makers of the programme rather like Indian food, as "hot" and "tasty", to meet a person they imagine to be Prince Harry. "Prince Harry" then spends "quality time" with each of these empty-headed girls, trying to find out how much like a good curry they are, before revealing he is in fact not Prince Harry to the girl he finally chooses.

 

THE SHOW IS OF LITTLE interest other than to demonstrate how it is possible for these ladies, and, by implication, the audience of this absurd afternoon television show, to believe that a royal prince of the United Kingdom might feasibly get himself involved in "recruiting" ladies to see who is the "best kisser", no doubt among other skills, before proposing marriage. The depths to which the image of our royals has sunk.

 

DEPTHS, WE SHOULD REMEMBER, which have been plumbed in the past by a previous second-in-liner. We are now seeing how a court case in the United States may end up involving Prince Andrew as a participant in underage sex events bordering on rape. Andrew has, of course, "form". His relationship with New York actress Kathleen Dee-Anne 'Koo' Stark had to be broken off when it was discovered and revealed that she had made a lesbian sex shower scene in the 1976 film "Emily".

 

SENSIBLE THINKING GENTLEMEN might consider that Andrew was clearly on the right track in this choice, perhaps being able to spend evenings reliving the scene with his new bride instead of ending up with the toe-sucking, corrupt Sarah Ferguson, whose main claim to fame is that she has brought a bit more ginger to the royal family. But now we see that our present Duke of York has been embroiled in what looks like a legally complex sex-and-money scandal and once again we should look to history to see the lessons no one ever seems to learn.

 

NEW YORK CITY was so named in honour of James, Duke of York, a second-in-liner who unexpectedly became king to disastrous results. All historical reports suggest he liked spending his spare time entertaining a variety of mistresses. He was often insulted and once called "the most unguarded ogler of his time", with Samuel Pepys lamenting, when visited by the Duke, that he "did eye my wife mightily". Nothing really changes.

A RIGHT CHARLIE

LIKE MOST PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE in the freedom for others to do whatever they want and think whatever they like as long as they do not harm others, I am alarmed at the recent events in Paris involving the cold-blooded murdering of cartoonists at the French magazine Charlie Hebdo, although perhaps not as surprised as I should be, given the parlous state of Parisian society nowadays.

 

I SHOULD POINT OUT THAT I am not a great fan of this publication, and on the few occasions when it has come to my notice I have found it childish, as indeed I find a great deal of French humour. But being slaughtered at one's easel or keyboard for expressing one's rather limited and at times disrespectful view of the world must never be seen as a fair way to air our grievances.

 

BUT INDEED UNEXPECTEDLY, THE EVENTS have shown me something far more alarming over the last couple of days, and this is the utter inability of the French authorities to deal with such a crisis, suggesting, rather worryingly, that if indeed the merde ever hits the fan on a large scale in France then we would all do well to hope that proper police forces can be brought in from abroad to deal with it au sérieux.

 

TODAY I WENT TO LUNCH with the intention of finishing my reading of the amusing novel The Visiting Professor, by Robert Littell, which deals with the activities of a middle-aged university professor who almost accidentally discovers the pleasures of oral sex with a 23-year-old girl hairdresser he meets on his arrival in the university town he is visiting. Being a middle-aged university professor myself, I confess that I have found this novel rather gripping, to say the least, and expected to finish it over lunch in the peaceful town of Sintra today.

 

ALAS, THE CURIOUS EVENTS on the television news kept me from my reading, entranced as I was by what I was watching. Yesterday I watched for over an hour as policemen walked up and down a street in Paris, changing clothes, putting helmets on and taking them off again, loafing about and now and then remonstrating with citizens of the Republic who were crossing their paths carrying supermarket bags full of baguettes.

 

TODAY I WITNESSED SIMILARLY-DRESSED policemen walking up and down an embankment to no apparent purpose, slipping and sliding and falling over each other and arguing amongst themselves, while hostages were at risk of their lives in a supermarket and two terrorists were "holed up", as the television reporter put it, in a printing factory. Thousands of officers were involved, I was told.

 

RARELY HAVE I WATCHED anything that pre-announced so clearly that these events were going to end in disaster. This was at lunchtime. It now appears, according to the authorities, that the situation has come to an end, as the imbecile President Hollande has drawn a line under the matter with his speech some minutes ago. However, other sources suggest there may be "further gunmen" on the loose, and that several of the hostages have been killed by the police.

 

WITH A GOVERNMENT AND POLICE FORCE LIKE THESE, the main enemy facing freedom in France is not random hot-headed Muslims who can't take a joke, but Charlies like those in power who have no idea how to run a multiracial country, how to keep order when it breaks down or how to make anyone feel safe. The only absolute to come out of all of this lamentable business is that the extreme right in France are closer than ever to getting elected into power; and that means trouble for leftwing atheist cartoonists and Muslims alike.