I WANNA MARRY HARRY

THE END OF ANY YEAR is always a good time for us to look back at previous events and consider what effect the past may have on our future. In the past -- and today in some -- it is considered that only by "exorcising our demons" from the past may we push forward and become better human beings from now on.

I OF COURSE SUBSCRIBE to this view of life, and I am pleased to see that young Prince Harry Windsor has now decided to put his own past chasing women behind him and settle down with a wholesome lady who has the ability to make him happy, to complete him as a man and to act as a friend to Duchess Catherine when her workload becomes heavier than it is now.

THAT, I BELIEVE, IS THE GENERAL position taken by the English press, and nowhere have I read of snide remarks likening their engagement to the vulgar American television game show in which aspiring young actresses fought each other in what the children today call a "structured reality vote-off" in order to become engaged to a young man they believed to be British royalty. Some evil people would say that the producers of the show, involving these women having sex with the pretender "to see who he liked best" are now sitting on a goldmine, even though the show was considered controversial and "far-fetched" at the time.

YET MY CHRISTIAN CHARITY towards others means that I believe it impossible that anyone would do such underhand things for financial gain. I am convinced that these producers will never allow the show to be seen again, and will instruct the owners of something called the "Youtube" to "take it down" as my youngest terms it.

AT THE TIME OF THE SHOW, the Royal Family, as usual, made no comment.

My pictures show the winning contestant (top picture) and Harry with Meghan (bottom picture, second from left) with her future ladies-in-waiting.

ANOTHER KETTLE OF FISH

FANS OF THE GREAT LAUREL AND HARDY will remember the famous line spoken by Oliver Hardy after the unfortunate end to another particularly distressing comic episode during which the duo would have managed to mess up whatever task they had set themselves at the beginning of their marvellous, short knockabout routines.

"ANOTHER FINE KETTLE OF FISH you have pickled me in," Hardy would say, while Stan Laurel would look distraught and scratch at his dishevelled hair.

WHILE THERE HAVE BEEN many comedy duos over the years who have tried to emulate these two masters, it has been apparent that when they retired they seem to have broken the mould; hardly anyone, as humorous as many may be, has come close to achieving their dizzy heights of comedy.

UNTIL YESTERDAY THAT IS, when Boris Johnson met Sergei Lavrov for talks about the relationship between Russia and the United Kingdom at a "high level" encounter intended to "clear the air" and have a one-on-one talk about the issues that are bothering the British government.

SOME PEOPLE MAY BE OF THE OPINION that it is not a good idea to entrust such a mission to Mr Johnson, particularly given the fact that he gives HRH the Prince Philip Duke of Edinburgh a run for his offshore assets in terms of insulting foreigners, but I was confident that he would come up with the goods.

THE COMEDY BEGAN WHEN Johnson stated with delight that economic relations between the two countries were excellent after news that Russia had increased its purchases of Kettle Crisps and had bought 300 Bentleys, although he did leave it open as to whether they were all intended for Russian government officials.

LAVROV WAS NOT TO BE LEFT behind in the comic stakes: when asked whether the Russian government was involved in espionage activity against the United Kingdom, he stated that they had only spent "a few Kopecks" on Internet interference activity -- which is good to know.

THE FINAL GAG BY THE DUO was when gathered journalists asked Mr Johnson whether he trusted Mr Lavrov. "I did hand him my coat when I came in," he stated. To which Lavrov replied, bringing the house down, "Yes, but there was nothing in the pockets!"

LIKE SLAPSTICK OR NOT, it is diplomacy of this character that in the end will manage to create good relations between countries which could so easily be at war; and the sombre, humbug-loving antiquated grey-suited politicians of the past may well scoff at a generation of Putins, Lavrovs, Berlusconis, Johnsons and Trumps, but we all know that whatever will happen will happen, and we might as well have a little fun while we watch it happening.

My top photo shows the two great diplomats in action, with the famous comedy duo on stage in the middle snap.

PRETTY VACANT

WHEN I DECIDED SOME TIME AGO that I would stop writing this chronicle it was mainly due to the fact that I considered that international politics were in good hands. With Donald Trump as the president of the USA and Boris Johnson on the cusp of taking over the United Kingdom, political commentary would be at best redundant.

THE ROLE OF THE POLITICAL analyst is that of pointing out what is wrong in the activities of our leaders, and as I increasingly saw that Trump, Johnson and even the schoolmarmish Theresa May were doing what they were supposed to be doing it seemed to be churlish to comment on detail and foolish to approve.

EVEN WHEN TRUMP went to France to meet Macron and, on returning, stated "They showed us a deal. We'll have a look at it and if we like it we'll do it. If not we'll get back in touch" I thought that I would refrain from commenting on this perfect piece of proper common sense politics. Trump's liberal, horn-rimmed glasses critics will never understand what this language means to people who are scraping out a living in a difficult America, and so I have to put up with their smarmy, smug, sneaky and snide comments against someone who will probably go down in history as at least a game-changer.

SO WHEN DONALD TRUMP STATED yesterday that the USA gives "millions, and sometimes billions" of taxpayers' dollars to countries around the world and then they vote against the USA at the UN Assembly I thought he had come to some kind of laudable pinnacle. "We'll be watching those votes," he said. "Vote against us, and we'll save money. We don't care."

IT IS THIS "WE DON'T CARE" that ought to send shivers down the spines of the corrupt, heartless, evil despots and nabobs who run the third world. But it doesn't, of course, because they don't care about their own people either.

My photo shows Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols, at the time of singing "Pretty Vacant", heavily criticised by the establishment for lyrics stating "We don't care".