HERE LIES LIES

MY OLD FRIEND DAVID BYRNE, former vocalist of the pop music ensemble The Talking Heads, and later best known for making obscure albums of song and music with flamboyant intellectuals and shoddy third world buskers and bongo players alike, has recently returned to good form with his new collection of songs, entitled Here Lies Love, celebrating the life of Imelda Marcos, the deeply misunderstood wife of the brutal dictator who governed the Philippines for some considerable time. Even more than Sunday Morning itself, this is the true spirit of bringing our leaders within reach.

DAVID, WHO BECAME FASCINATED BY IMELDA’S love for disco music and disco dancehall mirrored balls, has unfortunately been criticized for apparently “validating” Imelda’s life by writing music about it; yet his soft-spoken mention of Lloyd-Webber’s Evita, on his appearance on the BBC morning show recently has not led to anyone attacking our plump, pouting, gorgeous Lord. Nor did his protests about juvenile criticism of his most controversial songs during the Talking Heads period make much difference.

THUS DAVID, A SCOT BY BIRTH, might perhaps be interested in writing a similar opus about the lives of fellow Scots who have achieved some recognition of late and are practically of his own age. Byrne was born in Dumbarton, and was then whisked off to Canada, still a bairn, and then later to the USA, by his far-seeing parents. How different things might have been if such parents had been those of Tony Blair or Gordon Brown.

SHOULD DAVID BYRNE WISH TO CONSIDER the idea of an album of songs or musical compositions to celebrate the lives of these Right Honourable leaders, I feel I may be of help to him in his research right now. For Gordon Brown I can clearly see a Rumba in my mind, a Rig, perhaps, or even a Military Two Step (backwards); for Blair, a medley of Souza marches, some Arabesque entertainment pieces and then a full blown Apocalypso, all maracas shaking.