RICH, LANDED CONSERVATIVES AND VAMPIRES have many things in common, as we discovered when one of the recent spate of unsuccessful Tory Party leaders in opposition was our noble yet instantly forgettable Romanian Dracula Michael Howard (pictured above), but it would be begging belief to imagine that the “swing” towards conservatism in the United Kingdom might have anything to do with a parallel in a bloodthirsty interest in vampires and all things to do with sucking the life blood out of otherwise healthy unemployed gadabouts and busty tavern girls.
YET THIS APPEARS TO BE THE TARGET for the Conservative government and their vegetable-leaf hangers-on the LibDems: the life blood of the weak and unprotected. All of this coincides with the growing success of the tasteless and ill-filmed Twilight movies, based on the abnormally poor writing of the novels, coming together to produce a sort of flailing Kung-Fu of the Twenty-Tens.
IN ENTERTAINMENT TERMS, NO ONE in their right mind would wide-berth a bit of necking of an attractive youngster by someone who knows what they are doing, which is why the Twilight movies and novels are as successful as any Dracula and/or rape and pillage soft-core fantasy adventure work may be, whether in medieval garb or in the horrendous Ugg boots, big hair rollers and floppy summer dresses that today’s female vampire victims appear to wear while they are waiting to join the ranks of those who will become lesbians and suck blood forever. And the remarkably Glee-ful Cee Lo Green track for Eclipse will no doubt lead the underhand erotic film franchise even further into success.
BUT THE PART OF FOREVER THAT the Conservative Party does not understand is clear: as they announce an increase in the retirement age, scaled from 66 to 70 years old “over the near future”, with reductions in benefits for all and sundry, they do not realize that not everyone has a stately home somewhere, and that making factory and farm workers stay in work forever is worse than biting them in the neck.
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