NO PAIN, NO GAIN

DAVID CAMERON'S INABILITY to keep in touch with the people who have put him where he is will no doubt lead to his downfall sooner or later. As the situation is, of course, he will just have to put up with the rather considerable swathe of Conservative members who are not happy with "Johnny foreigner", "Johnny-come-lately" or even "johnnies" in any shape or form. With the ribbed ones for extra male-to-male stimulation being both taboo and unknown to these good party faithful activists.

 

YET EVEN THE MOST OBVIOUS BENEFICIARY of the blanket abandonment of the Conservative Party, particularly after dour yet dependable Jeremy "the" Paxman has today stated that the term "mad, swivel-eyed loons" was and is in regular use by the upper echelons of the Conservative Party to describe the hard-working (and misguided) chaps and ladies who spoon out the party's politics, may want to watch his rear. This beneficiary is the UKIP leader, Nigel Farage.

 

IF HE PLAYS HIS CARDS RIGHT, FARAGE will probably disturb politics in the United Kingdom in a manner unseen since 1911. Yet he will have to deal with some of the more extreme elements of a party which, after all, is built on the sharp end of The Daily Mail and on drunken discussions after closing time by people who have either no money to go on to a club or have a beer gut so large that they would feel uncomfortable; added to this are the Surrey Sect of people who have never really seen a foreigner, "unless one means that swarthy chap who does the roses".

 

FARAGE HAS TO FEND OFF the probably orchestrated attacks suggesting that Lincoln UKIP Councillor Chris Pain had described illegal immigrants as "sandal-wearing, bomb-making, camel-riding, goat-fucking, ragheads". Mr Pain has taken pains to point out that his Facebook page was hacked.

 

WHILE ACCEPTING THAT HOMOSEXUAL ANAL AND ORAL SEX could be termed "disgusting" if anyone wished to see it this way, thus allowing us to at least feel what we like in the privilege of our own minds, Farage was keen to point out that racism will not be tolerated in his UKIP Party, now two percentage points behind David Cameron and his "college kids coalition".

 

(My picture shows UKIP Councillor Chris "feel the" Pain)