THE TRUE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS

ONE OF THE PROBLEMS ABOUT CHRISTMAS over recent years has been the delicate matter of trying to understand what it is all really about. When the modern idea of Christmas was expanded into its current form during the reign of Queen Victoria, who imported it from Germany and then exported it to many countries throughout Europe through her dozens of children and grandchildren who married into royal households, the spirit was simple, albeit a radical change from the past: the Christmas period was one for being with the family, eating well, exchanging modest gifts with those who came to visit and sharing in moments of peace.

THERE STILL REMAINED A MODICUM OF THE RELIGIOUS element, particularly for the poor, but it was soon cast into second place with the arrival of the Coca-Cola-Company-designed Santa Claus, a figure far more interesting than a little baby sleeping in a barn, particularly as hardly any urban young children had an idea of what a manger was.

SINCE THE NINETEEN-FIFTIES Christmas has morphed into a sort of shopping fever festival, in the early days mainly involving buying toys for children, but by the eighties this had boomed into buying at least one present for every member of the family, including close relatives whom we see every single day of the week. The notion of “peace” among men, however, has dwindled to the point that most Christmas meals involve a family row. This may be due to alcohol, the fact that we have to mix with relatives we hate or the fact that we didn’t get the present we wished for (as for some reason this has become a secretive business).

BUT THE LATEST TWIST IN CHRISTMAS is reflected in the joke made by the late American stand-up comedian George Carlin: “The main reason why Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” Christmas has become a time for selling sex. In the old innocent days of TV perfume ads the selling point was a scene when a husband would say to his wife, “Honey, you smell so good”, and she would wink at the camera and a picture of a bottle of Chanel Nº 5 would appear at the bottom of the screen.

NOT SO TODAY. One brand shows us a semi-naked woman in a bath and then in bed with an answering-machine (do they still exist?) voice-off begging her for more sex “after yesterday afternoon” (sic); another shows a young couple stripping each other on the stairs on the way to an apartment and having sex before they even manage to open the door; one shows an elegant blonde walking through crowded halls and peeling off her clothes as she goes; a girl is pursued and (presumably) raped by a wolf in another, etc.

CHRISTMAS HAS BECOME LEATHER pencil skirts, black stockings with a line up the back, patent leather stilettos and desperate, violent, hurried sex sessions in any place or position except in a bed. And so, once again at this time of year, I would like to wish all my readers the very best for Christmas, hoping you enjoy it in the true spirit of Christmas 2013.

(Post Script. One chap has electronically mailed me asking whether this means that my desire is for everyone to get a good "shagging", as he put it, at Christmastide, and I suppose that is true. Happy holidays, except for students, who have to go home to their parents, and that is when the shagging stops.)