QUITE CORRECTLY, THE RUSSIAN EMBASSY in London has recently pointed out that intelligence agents, or “spooks”, as the newspapers are calling them, are never “ex”. However, why the Russians should see fit to make this clear is astonishing to those of us in the know, and merely serves to reinforce my opinion that, sadly, the majority of the population seem to believe that espionage is about as real as an episode of Scooby-Doo.
WHEN JOHN LE CARRÉ published The Spy Who Came in from the Cold in 1963 it was heralded as a novel that brought realism to the spy genre, showing spymasters as rather tedious, ordinary men and women who would be more at home playing with model trains than in hotels playing with supermodels.
THUS THE SCANDAL LEADING up to the inauguration of Mr Donald J. Trump as the 45th president of the United States of America appears merely to be something thrown in by bitter losers in America in order to muddy the waters and leave doubts in the minds of fools as to the true nature of Trump's intentions and desires.
HAPPILY, TO THE RESCUE in this unfortunate affair over Russian spying on the USA, we have the always trusted opinion of Vladimir "Ras" Putin, someone who himself has risen to the highest heights per aspera rather than per Iovem. Christopher Steele, the British "ex" spy who revealed the latest calumny about Trump has produced "an obvious fake", according to Putin, with his foreign minister calling Steele a "swindler".
SWINDLER OR NOT, we know very little about Steele, or even the document mysteriously slipped to Senator John McCain, except that Steele went to Cambridge, was President of the Cambridge Union Debating Society, was recruited by MI6 on leaving university, speaks Russian, and now resides abroad, all of which seem to confirm his untrustworthiness and probable nature as a double agent, or at least a shady character, given his education.
PUTIN FURTHER EXPLAINS that Mr Trump would never have fallen for a honey trap, as he was used to being in the company of beautiful women, having been the organiser of beauty contests for many years. Thus, continues Putin "I can hardly imagine he rushed to the hotel to meet our girls of lower social responsibility (sometimes translated as "loose morals") -- even though they (our prostitutes) are the best in the world, of course."
ONE MUST ADMIRE PUTIN'S PATRIOTISM, as well as the extremely liberal nature of the Russian people and the institutions in which they trust. In my opinion it will be many years before a president of the United States of America will feel confident enough in the open-mindedness of his people to state to the gathered international press that American prostitutes are the best in the world.
HOWEVER, TRUMP'S SILENCE ON THE MATTER has sparked some discomfort among some of the sex workers (sic) of America, in particular Dennis Huff, owner of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in the state of Nevada, where prostitution is legal. According to Huff, “Comparing our girls to Russian girls is ridiculous because American prostitutes take pride in their work." In not defending American escort girls, Trump may be reminded of the "Hookers for Hillary" campaign that probably explained his poor result in Nevada.
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