20/10/2009

PLAN B FROM OUTER SPACE


THOSE OF US WHO LOVE CINEMA will never be able to forget Ed Wood’s magnificent 1959 movie, showing how one can make an apparently harmless piece of uninspired idiocy have a lasting legacy, talked about even today in bars throughout the world and discussed on the Internet every minute of the day by people who have grown tired of looking at pornography and tweeting to fellow “twits” about the weather, what they had for lunch and Demi Moore’s figure.

IT MIGHT BE A SLIGHT EXAGGERATION to suggest that Wood is still a talking point, but it is true among an underclass of adults who still live in a bedroom in their parents’ houses and have posters on their walls, and in many ways they are similar to the people who enjoyed Gordon Brown’s now famous “No Plan B” speech yesterday at the London “pre-Copenhagen” meeting to prepare the summit on climate change in a few weeks’ time.

DESPERATE BROWN seems to have swallowed Prince Charles’ absurd beliefs, even quoting him almost verbatim (see Sunday Mornings passim) in an attempt to gather the support of the greenies and win the next general election. “We have fifty days to save the planet,” he informed us, “and if we fail, there is no plan B.”

UNFORTUNATELY FOR GORDON, there appears to be no plan A for the government at the moment, just a bunch of people who are confused, have no idea what they are supposed to do next, are wondering who is really in charge of proceedings, occasionally try to look serious when the camera is on them, and are clearly only hanging around for the money. Rather like Ed Wood’s original cast.

FORTUNATELY, IN A RELATED STORY, I was informed today that 32 “new” planets have been discovered. This, according to a friendly scientist speaking on the BBC news this evening, “means we can now go to outer space with more confidence.” I am not quite sure what this means, but if this can provide a Plan B for our politicians I can guarantee I will be there to wave them off.

No comments:

Post a Comment