ORGY NEWS

BEING A GENTLEMAN of some standing and knowledge of the world, people often come to me and ask, "David, have you ever been involved in a sex orgy?" The short answer to this is, of course, "Yes", although it was only once, a long time ago, when I was an undergraduate at University College London. (Nothing of this sort ever took place during my later time in Magdalen College, Oxford.)

 

THE OCCASION WAS SOMEWHAT DISAPPOINTING, as one of the ladies fell asleep after drinking too much cider, and the other, who was my ladyfriend at the time, refused to have any sex because we had had a flaming row earlier when I had informed her of the impending party, to which she had not previously agreed.

 

IT IS THUS WITH GREAT ADMIRATION that I hear testimony today in a court in Lille, France, from Dominique Gaston André Strauss-Kahn, a former potential future president of the Republic of France and one-time Director of the International Monetary Fund, thus someone to whom one should look up, about his attending of "sex parties" involving as many as thirteen men and "at least" seven girls, more or less "four times per year", which is, in his words, "not very often at all".

 

I IMAGINE THAT EXPRESSIONS such as "often" can only really be comprehended in relation to what one expects "very often" or "seldom" to mean, and in that case M. Strauss-Kahn must be comparing to what he knows about other people's sex parties and how often those took place.

 

THERE IS SOMETHING BERLUSCONIESQUE in the unfortunate Strauss-Kahn's complaints that he did not know that the women involved were in fact prostitutes and that he was not sure where they came from, although the offices of the French prosecutor today announced that Strauss-Kahn knew what was going on when what was going down went down, as the children say today, and was actively involved in the procurement of ladies willing to participate in return for money. This is perhaps only one of the diferences between young students who can only afford bottles of cheap cider and multi-millionaires who have been living off the public purse for their entire lifetimes and have no idea what money really means.