SPECULATION WAS INTENSE YESTERDAY as to the outcome of Barack Obama’s first meeting with our borrowed Greek leader The Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, Earl of Merioneth and Baron Greenwich, Prince of Greece and Denmark, and husband to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. Given the Duke’s natural tendency – and probable desire – to come out with unfortunate remarks when the media look his way, and his “previous” in China, Egypt and Australia most lately, one could sense the twittering in the air about the latest potential gaffe.
HAVING UPSET THE CHINESE on a state visit, when he was caught saying that the Chinese would “eat anything”, having called Arabs “towel-heads” on a visit to Egypt, and most recently asking a ceremonial aboriginal at a specially held dance festival in Australia whether Aborigines “still used spears”, the content of his first remarks to the new US president were eagerly awaited. The scope for gaffe was mammoth and mother-of-all; he had only recently told Mylene Klass, the showgirl, he thought she was “fit” and insulted Simon Cowell, perhaps the most well-known entertainer in Britain, by calling him “a sponger”, added to by his dubious “apology” in saying that he could never have really meant he was a “sponger” as he has no idea who he is.
FORTUNE HAS NOT BEEN KIND to the Greek royal family over the last hundred years, what with the last “legitimate” king dying after being bitten by a monkey when strolling around in his own garden, and then bitten by the monkey’s mate while tending to his wound, as well as the unfortunate case of their actual last ruler, King George “man in a suitcase” II, who spent more hours on the boat-train between London and Paris than beneath the skies of Hera and died in Greece on April 1st 1947; he had returned to the throne and was much loved, but when his death was announced everyone thought it was an April Fool’s Day prank, and busily got on with their Ouzo and pistachios regardless.
HAVING UPSET THE CHINESE on a state visit, when he was caught saying that the Chinese would “eat anything”, having called Arabs “towel-heads” on a visit to Egypt, and most recently asking a ceremonial aboriginal at a specially held dance festival in Australia whether Aborigines “still used spears”, the content of his first remarks to the new US president were eagerly awaited. The scope for gaffe was mammoth and mother-of-all; he had only recently told Mylene Klass, the showgirl, he thought she was “fit” and insulted Simon Cowell, perhaps the most well-known entertainer in Britain, by calling him “a sponger”, added to by his dubious “apology” in saying that he could never have really meant he was a “sponger” as he has no idea who he is.
FORTUNE HAS NOT BEEN KIND to the Greek royal family over the last hundred years, what with the last “legitimate” king dying after being bitten by a monkey when strolling around in his own garden, and then bitten by the monkey’s mate while tending to his wound, as well as the unfortunate case of their actual last ruler, King George “man in a suitcase” II, who spent more hours on the boat-train between London and Paris than beneath the skies of Hera and died in Greece on April 1st 1947; he had returned to the throne and was much loved, but when his death was announced everyone thought it was an April Fool’s Day prank, and busily got on with their Ouzo and pistachios regardless.
PRINCE PHILIP SCHLESWIG-HOLSTEIN-SONDERBURG-GLÜCKSBURG did not let the media down, of course, although this time he has left us all with a bit of a mystery to solve. When Obama stated “I had breakfast with the Prime Minister, I had meetings with the Chinese, the Russians, David Cameron,” and Big Phil interrupted with, “Can you tell the difference between them?” we were left wondering whether this was racism or wry political analysis. Or perhaps just that dementia that Philip’s son seems so worried about.
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