ONE BETWEEN THE THIGHS

ONE SHOULD NEVER SPEAK ILL OF THE DEAD, I was always taught. Despite my questioning nature as a youngster I never inquired as to whether this applied to the politically dead, although I assume that avoiding speaking ill of politicians is something which neither comes easy nor naturally to anyone literate enough to read a newspaper or even watch the news. Fortunately for many of our leaders, particularly in southern Europe, the chronic absence of any coherent education policy has meant that the number of people capable of completing these tasks is relatively insignificant.

BUT EVEN IN COUNTRIES WHERE SOME people can read a newspaper, often getting past page three, unless they start reading them from the back, like most people in Britain, our miscreant politicians can feel fairly safe that it will never be actual policies, debates or manifestos than will bring them to their knees. A bad camera angle is more damaging than a scandal.

THUS THE ABSURD MERRIMENT involving Damian McBride, Gordon Brown’s press advisor and closest aide, e-mailing defamatory information to be included on a future Red Rag Blog, which would trumpet Gordon’s values and attack opponents, will largely go unnoticed. Although for some people this activity sounds like just not cricket, for most inhabitants of Britain, and particularly those on which Labour depends to win elections, it sounds like Double Dutch. Words like “e-mail”, “blogosphere” and “spin doctor” mean nothing.

TO SHOW A RED RAG TO A BULL, means to invite trouble; Gordon Brown’s “attack dog” Damian McBride has paid for his juvenile behaviour with his job, at least for now, but I very much doubt that Gordon will pay with his, at least for now. Abstract concepts might win or lose votes, but unintelligible gobbledygook will have no effect. Those of us in the know, however, can find amusement watching a giggly fool waving the red rag at the bull and then taking a horning in the lower midriff.