CURIOSITY IS RIFE, ONE IMAGINES, about what will happen at today’s by-election in Norwich North, brought about by the resignation of Ian Gibson ex-MP, caught up in the ridiculous smearing of MPs for minor offences involving legitimately fiddled expenses. Gibson was found guilty of nothing more than using government tax exemption and parliamentary privilege in order to pay for a house and then “sell” it on to his daughter at what the Daily Telegraph called a “knock-down price”.
THIS DISTRESSING SITUATION has led to belief in a public backlash against decent, bona fide politicians, and therefore the list of riff-raff hoping to steal a seat from the hands of their rightful superiors is greater than usual in these lamentable by-election affairs. Many people feel it would be much more sensible to replace an MP in the “European way”, in which the leader of the party simply nominates one of his friends, his wife or his mistress to replace the outgoing parliamentarian. Yet this would not be cricket in Britain, others think.
THUS, ALONG WITH LABOUR’S HAPLESS, swine-flu-stricken Chris Ostrowski, a graduate of the University of East Anglia, and thus destined for a dull, grey life in the back office of an insurance company, we also have pouting, fresh-faced Chloe Smith, the likely winner, and the absurdly-named April Pond (Liberal), who by the sounds of things should be standing for the Green Party, or the “Save the Ducks Party”. Pond is also a possibility.
BUT MY HEART GOES OUT to Howling Laud Hope (right, above), the leader of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party. Ever since the glory days of the party’s first candidates, Screaming Lord Sutch and Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel, the OMRLP has been my choice when called upon to make my mark on democracy (which unfortunately I never seem to get round to doing). Regrettably, the proliferation of absurd candidates at this election will no doubt damage the chances that Hope (“Don’t be a Dope, Vote for Hope”) has of sneaking into a respectable third place. But we shall see this evening.
THIS DISTRESSING SITUATION has led to belief in a public backlash against decent, bona fide politicians, and therefore the list of riff-raff hoping to steal a seat from the hands of their rightful superiors is greater than usual in these lamentable by-election affairs. Many people feel it would be much more sensible to replace an MP in the “European way”, in which the leader of the party simply nominates one of his friends, his wife or his mistress to replace the outgoing parliamentarian. Yet this would not be cricket in Britain, others think.
THUS, ALONG WITH LABOUR’S HAPLESS, swine-flu-stricken Chris Ostrowski, a graduate of the University of East Anglia, and thus destined for a dull, grey life in the back office of an insurance company, we also have pouting, fresh-faced Chloe Smith, the likely winner, and the absurdly-named April Pond (Liberal), who by the sounds of things should be standing for the Green Party, or the “Save the Ducks Party”. Pond is also a possibility.
BUT MY HEART GOES OUT to Howling Laud Hope (right, above), the leader of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party. Ever since the glory days of the party’s first candidates, Screaming Lord Sutch and Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel, the OMRLP has been my choice when called upon to make my mark on democracy (which unfortunately I never seem to get round to doing). Regrettably, the proliferation of absurd candidates at this election will no doubt damage the chances that Hope (“Don’t be a Dope, Vote for Hope”) has of sneaking into a respectable third place. But we shall see this evening.
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