FOR THE FIRST TIME IN BRITISH POLITICAL HISTORY a constituency MP has been elected in the name of a green party, more specifically the Green Party of England and Wales. European onlookers may imagine that this is a phenomenon similar to that which has happened in certain countries on the continent, where “the greens” range from being left wing idealists or communists in Latin countries to terrorist criminals in Germanic ones. This would never do in Britain.
INDEED, VOTERS IN BRIGHTON PAVILION, the well-known home of eccentrics and defenders of alterative lifestyles, would be alarmed to think of “lefties” walking up and down their faux-medieval alleyways. These good people are committed to greenness in the sense that they will only smoke organic marijuana and only eat free-range crocodile steaks and ostrich eggs, as well as insisting on making their own muesli, knitting their children’s nappies and recycling their own political opinions.
OVER THE LAST TWENTY YEARS, the electorate of central Brighton have had an excellent choice of weirdoes to vote for, and everything indicates that many of them seem to have thought that green Dr. Caroline Patricia Lucas was yet another. Previous candidates in this constituency, to greater or lesser success, have included the following:
CITIZENS FOR UNDEAD RIGHTS AND EQUALITY, with Soraya Anne Kara, which advocates the retirement age being increased until after death, research into finding cures for Zombie bites and full civil rights for the undead;
THE FREE PARTY, with Bob Dobbs, whose party proposed to select its policies from a wheel of fortune;
MAKE POLITICIANS HISTORY, with its leader Ronnie Carroll, advocating abolishing parliament and a return to city-states. Since the late nineties this party has evolved, being known as (in order) the VOTE FOR YOURSELF PARTY, the www.xat.com Party and ultimately the RAINBOW DREAM TICKET PARTY, led by Rainbow George Weiss; and finally,
THE NATURAL LAW PARTY, which advocated transcendental meditation, music by The Beatles and yoga as a solution to problems in society.
AFTER ALL THIS, NO WONDER the people of Brighton voted green, even if they thought they would be electing a Martian.
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