CHILE CON CARNAGE

I HAVE NOT BEEN PAYING a great deal of attention to the debates in the British parliament over Prime Minister’s Questions of late, perhaps because I cannot imagine that the spectacle of watching Ed “Mr” Miliband debating with Nick Camelegg could be in any way edifying.

SINCE THE EARLY AFTERNOON, however, I have been watching bizarre rolling news coverage of Chilean miners (and one Bolivian) being pulled up to the surface after the disaster at the San José mine in northern Chile, when we all thought these poor chaps would have to tough it out until Christmas. In general these hardy workers seem to be coming back into daylight in good health, except for “Johnny” Barrios, the gentleman whose imprisonment underground led to his wife finding out he had been having an affair for the last twenty years or so. According to his sister he may “be in a bit of trouble” now.

THE WHOLE WORLD REJOICES at the manner in which Chile, a country which doesn’t exactly have a glowing record as far as looking after its citizens is concerned, has rescued its workers – after all, apart from the Soviet Union, Argentina and South Africa, Chile is one of the very few “civilised” countries which has on occasion turned its military on its own people. The tragedy is that the Chilean government is using the plight of these underpaid miners as a propaganda exercise.

YET IT COULD BE WORSE. When a similar number of Russian citizens were trapped under the water in a “non-nuclear” submarine a few years ago they tapped and tapped at the sides using Morse code to see whether Vladimir “Ras” Putin would come to their rescue, but – alas! – Putin was unable to help them, despite offers from NASA to bring in the clever boys with the big wheels and drills.

ALL OF THIS SHOWS HOW ANY COUNTRY – as long as the TV cameras are turned on it – can become democratic and responsible and care about its citizens. If anyone has anything negative to say about the role of television in modern life then they should say it to one of these miners in Chile. Thirty years ago they would have been left to rot; nowadays, as soon as Reuters and CNN get hold of the story, the respective governments have to shape up and play decent for the cameras.

MY PICTURE SHOWS A SIMILAR DISASTER. This is the slag heap left over in Britain after years of mismanagement of the economy and the collapse of our mining industry. Beneath this pile of rubble, hundreds and hundreds of feet from contact with civilisation, is the Labour party. Who is going to get a shuttle down there and bring them out?