MOURNING SICKNESS

 

WHEN SIR MICHAEL PHILIP JAGGER, better known to his ageing fans as “Mick”, said yesterday that (and I quote, albeit perhaps not ipsa verbissima) “you get into rock ’n’ roll in order to have sex and do drugs (…) and then later on you have to do drugs so that you can still have sex and play rock ‘n’ roll”, he was probably referring to cocaine and Viagra, a drug which may be of use to a sixty-seven year old man who wishes to behave like a thirty year old.

 

SIR MICHAEL PHILIP appears to have aged relatively gracefully, and, despite having been branded as a scruffy hooligan in his earlier years, has successfully managed to blend into the establishment and behave like a good chap all round.

 

THE SAME CANNOT BE SAID OF STEVEN PATRICK MORRISSEY, formerly of The Smiths, as his outrageous comments and erratic behavior seem to suggest that the drugs he is patently still on are not doing him any good. His rant yesterday that he did not believe that Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, née Middleton, was really suffering from excessive morning sickness is supposedly meant to be in the line of previous outbursts against Britain in general and the Royal Family in particular. Yet what Morrissey believes to be true based on utterly unfounded facts should not be seen in the same light as his (in my view absurd) statements that Britain should give the Falkland Islands and islanders to Argentina immediately.

 

HIS OPINION THAT THE ROYAL FAMILY are “responsible” for the death of the unfortunate lady who received and put through the hoax call from the two Australian radio headbangers who thought that such idiocy was some sort of a jolly prank should therefore be dismissed by anyone except those who still listen to his records in their student residences. And commenting upon this at a time when the family of the lady concerned are still grieving should be seen as sick.

 

“KATE”, NÉE MIDDLETON, IS INDEED responsible for a great many evil things in our society, as, is the Royal Family. Perhaps one of these evils involves the death of a lady fifteen years ago, but most of the ill done by the Windsor clan has to do with poor fashion choices, bad haircuts, boring speeches about climate change and outrageously outdated accents.