HERMAN MUNSTER

AFTER YEARS OF BEING PLAGIARISED by other publications, I am happy to take advantage of The Sun’s latest epithet for the good leader of the European Union, gormless goon Herman von Rumpoy.

 

UNELECTED VON RUMPOY SEEMS TO HAVE DECIDED that, in keeping with the practice adopted by other, more legitimate, political leaders, he should produce what looks like a New Year’s message. I haven’t had the patience to study the whole content, merely the parts which seem to be of interest to right-thinking intelligent folk such as myself and possibly several people who are reading this.

 

SHOWING A SURPRISING CAPACITY for independent thought, as well as an arrogance beyond his station as a showroom dummy, “Munster” has seen fit to “warn” David Cameron about the dangers of his actions and the consequences of them for the rest of Europe. When Cameron suggested recently that the UK should begin to reclaim some of the “powers” that have inexplicably been ceded to the EU over recent years, Munster declared: "If every member state were able to cherry-pick those parts of existing policies that they most like, and opt out of those that they least like, the union in general, and the single market in particular, would soon unravel”.

 

MUNSTER RUMPOY WENT ON to state that this might result in the UK being isolated from the “rest of Europe” (sic), thus living without the benefit of the close ties established over so many years; and he naturally believes that the end of the EU would be a bad thing, as it would be the end of him. Perhaps unelected politicians like Munster and Duran Duran Barroso, as well as the majority of the second-batters on the lists of their parties throughout Europe and who never needed to listen to an electorate should be told that today’s poll in Britain showed UKIP, the United Kingdom Independence Party, at 15%, hot on the heels of Cameron himself. Unlike in Europe, our elected politicians have to respond to the will of the people, and they are clearly geared towards forcing a referendum which will hopefully end up seeing Munster and his cohorts getting sent back to their desks in municipal libraries in Belgium and tax offices in provincial villages.

 

BUT THE MOST ALARMING ASPECT of all this remains the fact that Von Rumpoy thinks he has some authority, when most people in the European Union have no idea who he is. In these texts I am read by people in every country in Europe except Lithuania and Liechtenstein, the USA, Canada and Mexico, several countries in Asia, including Mongolia, China and Japan, about six countries in Africa and four or five in South America, as well as Australia and New Zealand. I thus believe that I deserve the right to present a New Year’s message much more that Humpty von Munster. I will be writing it over the next couple of days.