FRÈRE JACQUES

NOW THAT JACQUES DELORS, the fiendish individual responsible for “masterminding” the whole unimaginably disastrous shebang that is the European Union and the single currency, has, at the wise old age of 86, admitted that the Euro project (and I quote ipsissima verba) was “doomed from the start”, we can perhaps start looking forward to Europe breaking up into the original countries with their own cute little customs and habits and strange currencies like the Schilling, the Florin, the Peseta and the Liebfraumilch, among others.

DELORS, LIKE MANY LEADERS before him, obviously decided to get the troubling matters off his conscience before dying, certain in the knowledge that if there is a heaven, and if French people are allowed into it, its dwellers will not be happy about his European financial policy.

M DELORS’ FAILINGS HOWEVER pale into insignificance when compared with the outrageous proposals put forward this very hour by Europe’s top comic duo, Mr and Mrs Merkozy.

GAME-CHANGING EVENTS OVER my own lifetime, moments that significantly altered the way we live our lives, have been few and far between, as most of the meaty stuff of the XX century took place before 1959, when I was only a glimmer in my father’s eye, and even the landing on the moon, ten years later (if we believe that it really took place) turned out to be as dull as dishwater.

IT MAY REMAIN TO BE SEEN whether the joint statement by cuddly Merkel and toothless Sarkozy this afternoon can be turned into law and policy; and whether this foreshadows, as many have stated, the European super-state run by Germany. Merkel’s threat that there will be “punishment” for Euroland states that do not keep their budget deficits below 3%, and Sarkozy’s suggestion that everyone will have to “work harder” and “pull together” is obviously just a load of Euroblather.

THE NEW EUROPEAN TREATY VOICED at today’s conference, however, may be a completely different kettle of fish if Germany and France ever elect anyone who is prepared to show some teeth. What they are promoting with this “Fiskalunion” is the right of Germany, with its French poodle following behind, to move into a country and take over its economic, fiscal and financial matters whenever they deem this fit. Dictators do not even need tanks and jackboots nowadays. Dormez vous, Jacques? Sonnez les matines.