LAST MIND STANDING

“PARTING”, JULIET INFORMS US in Shakespeare’s The Most Excellent and Lamentable Tragedie of Romeo, and Juliet, “is such sweet sorrow.” The meaning behind this pithy remark by a love struck Juliet, perched on her little balcony and watching Romeo slipping down the ivy to land on his arse among the rhododendrons, was that when parting we know that we will come back together soon – “the morrow”, claims Juliet – and be happily reunited.

I AM NOT SURE THAT this was forefront in David “Bulldog” Cameron’s mind when he came back from a meeting with the leaders of our brothers and sisters in the European Union with a smirk on his face, as, like many others, I suspect that this is not simply the beginning of the United Kingdom leaving the hated European Union for good (as Cameron would secretly adore to see happen), but – and before this – the start of a partial break up of the Union itself.

CAMERON’S ACTION WAS A SCANDAL on Friday in the eyes of most of the European press, and was violently condemned today in the European Parliament by Joseph Stalin Barroso and a few other members, notably the French and Belgians. Nicolas “Fifi” Sarkozy was, of course, the first person to issue outright condemnation, early on Friday afternoon.

SINCE THEN, HOWEVER, WISE analysts may have noticed certain changes in tone in the statements being issued by other European countries. All of the 26 member states besides Britain immediately agreed to everything on the table on Friday afternoon and so all appeared to be hunky-dory in Euroland. Yet subsequent developments have included Merkel suggesting on Friday evening that she “perfectly understood” Cameron’s position, and Ireland (yesterday) stating that, thinking matters over since the weekend, any change in the treaty would probably have to go to a referendum. This was followed by both Holland and the Czech Republic stating the same thing.

SWEETNESS AND LIGHT, then, is perhaps best not the best way to describe the “union” part of the European Union. More cold water has been brought to the bath by the bizarrely-named French presidential candidate François Hollande, who, despite his European-friendly name, has stated that if he is elected next year instead of Fifi he will not respect the treaty. Basically the only keen countries to have the treaty accepted by all are the three countries who have gone down the toilet already.

SO THERE WE HAVE IT. Everyone understands that the details of the treaty make it impossible to effect and the proposed “sanctions” are not even explained; and even the apparently most diehard defenders of its principles seem to be “only joking”. Cameron was thus wise to steer clear of it if only to avoid having to call a referendum. Everyone in Britain knows what the result would be, so it was better for him to make the decision himself and at least look like he has stomach for a fight and is not the “plonker” he was called in parliament yesterday.