BOJO COMES HOME

AFTER ELECTIONS DURING WHICH the “ruling” coalition parties have been given a sound whipping by the electorate due more to the fact that the coalition politicians seem to have no idea of what is going on in the world rather than the fact that they are mismanaging the economy, everyone across the political sphere must be pleased that Boris Johnson has been re-elected Mayor of London.

IN THE LIGHT OF THE CONSERVATIVES being thrashed to within an inch of their lives, leader David “Dave” Cameron must now be nursing a dilemma: Johnson’s victory should surely mean that the blond phenomenon will not be challenging his fellow Bullingdon Boy for the leadership of the Conservative Party, yet eight years as Mayor of London will surely mean that Boris can swat Cameron aside whenever he should wish to do so.

CAMERON AND BOY OSBORNE may well be happy in their roles as leaders and cheque-book holders of the nation, but they will never manage to scale the heights of recognition afforded to characters such as Boris.

I DO NOT VOTE IN LONDON and have no real interest in housing developments in Lower-by-Blackheath-upon-Eel-Pie-East-Cheam or whatever the myriad of London boroughs call themselves, but I will stay up late (as is the case now) merely to listen to Boris Johnson talk. David Cameron must surely know this is the case; George “Boy Gideon” Osborne must have no idea what this means in relation to his future in the Conservative Party, nor what I am writing about.

AT OXFORD EVERYONE KNEW what was going on, and there were perhaps those among us who could not understand why Boris took a back seat and allowed lesser men to progress. Now we see why. Johnson is someone who is too honest, sensible and humorous to be the sort of dickhead who runs the present Conservative Party. Anyone who ends his acceptance speech as Mayor of London with “May the Force be with you” has to be either a loony or someone with that little, slight, cutting, edgy approach to serious business that ends up making the difference.

LIKE WHEN HE EMBARRASSED all the Chinese dignitaries during the Olympic Games “changeover” in Beijing (which he called Peking) in saying that “Ping-Pong” (sic) used to be called “whiff-whaff” and was invented by British army officers in India, who knocked balls across “nets” made of books stacked up in the middle of the dinner table. Thus, he stated “Ping Pong is coming home”. The sallow Chinese officials who had to listen to this declamation seemed bemused. Those who were in the know knew Boris was winking to us now in the future.