NOT SO GAY ON THE WESTERN FRONT

MANY COMMENTATORS ON THE SUNDAY NEWSPAPERS last week have correctly attributed this past weekend’s events as being something of a ‘gayfest’, as popular parlance deems it today. Very rarely do we have the Eurovision Song Contest, the Chelsea Flower Show and a referendum on same sex marriage taking place over the same 48-hour period. On the face of it, this would certainly be a reason for celebration for those good people among us who like their liberty to be liberally spread.

 

ALTHOUGH EUROVISION SONG CONTEST RESULTS hardly ever go the way of what would be sensible in the mind of any discerning adult with an ear for music, this time the race between Swedish Mans Zelmerlow, a singer who does a very good impression of a guide at a pony trekking club, and Russian Polina Gagarina, who does a very good impression of a girl who hasn’t eaten for a year, kept excited Eurovision fans on the edges of their pouffes almost to the last minute.

 

HOWEVER, DARKER RUMBLINGS MAY perhaps be at play judging by other, somewhat less newsworthy, activity over the same period. Germaine Greer, the famous one-time spokesharridan for the "women's lib" movement in the sixties and seventies, has come out to criticise cuddly former pop star Elton John because his husband David Furnish is named as 'mother' on birth certificates of their two sons. According to Greer, the freedom granted to homosexual men to indulge in marriage and then adopt children should not extend to one of them being allowed to call himself a "wife" or "mother".

 

ALSO SOMEWHAT DISTURBING FOR FREEDOM LOVERS is the fact that the Russian singer Gagarina is apparently in trouble back home for having "hugged and kissed" the bearded Austrian Diva Conchita Wurst, thus, according to some sources, having given a good image to homosexuality.

 

NOR IS ALL WELL IN THE EMERALD ISLE if comments broadcast on one of the major news channels are an indication of popular feeling. Two bearded motorcycling gentlemen interviewed on Monday, fiancés "Ginger" Monahan and Frankie O'Tèardrop, proved that the motivation behind the changes in Irish law are perhaps more sinister and vengeful than one thinks. Said O'Tèardrop, "Thirty-five years ago Catholic priests could shaft you up the arse and you were afraid to tell your mother. Now we've shafted them."